This study examined my experience as a doctoral student following the death of my son. The focus of this research is on the interaction of paternal grief and adult learning in the context of higher education. The central emphasis seeks to offer existential bearing to the interplay between the narrative identities of adult learner and paternal griever that is seldom considered in combination for adult learning scholarship. I employed the reflexive process of autoethnography through free writing and review of personal journals. I used the analytical lens of a dialogical narrator who held two opposing I-positions of the self, adult learner and grieving father. This methodological approach allowed the pursuit of adult learning to emerge into a position that promoted reorganization of my grief, bridging the divergence of loss and gain. This study placed focus on the dialogical I-positions of self as a vector for growth. The novelty of this research is the placement of andragogical considerations in adult learning following paternal grief. These considerations have capacity to endorse the paternal griever I-position to begin understanding grief transition through pursuit of knowledge. Characterizing the embodied transition is central to the bereavement process. Bringing the transition into dialogue with adult learning can provide educators with enhanced instructional precision when planning and conducting learning activities in a grief environment.

中文翻译：

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成人学习和父亲悲伤的自我民族志反映

这项研究考察了我在儿子去世后作为博士生的经历。本研究的重点是高等教育背景下父亲悲伤与成人学习的相互作用。中心重点旨在为成人学习者和父亲悲伤者的叙事身份之间的相互作用提供存在意义，而成人学习奖学金很少将其结合起来考虑。我通过自由写作和审查个人期刊，采用了自我民族志的反思过程。我使用了一个对话式叙述者的分析镜头，他持有两个相反的自我，成人学习者和悲伤的父亲。这种方法论方法使对成人学习的追求进入了一个促进我悲伤重组的位置，弥合了失去和获得的分歧。这项研究将重点放在自我对话的 I 位置上，作为成长的载体。这项研究的新颖之处在于在父亲悲痛之后将成人教育纳入成人学习中。这些考虑有能力支持父亲的悲伤者 I 立场，以通过追求知识开始理解悲伤的转变。表征具体的过渡是丧亲过程的核心。在悲痛的环境中规划和开展学习活动时，将过渡转变为与成人学习的对话可以为教育者提供更高的教学精度。这些考虑有能力支持父亲的悲伤者 I 立场，以通过追求知识开始理解悲伤的转变。表征具体的过渡是丧亲过程的核心。在悲痛的环境中规划和开展学习活动时，将过渡转变为与成人学习的对话可以为教育工作者提供更高的教学精度。这些考虑有能力支持父亲的悲伤者 I 立场，以通过追求知识开始理解悲伤的转变。表征具体的过渡是丧亲过程的核心。在悲痛的环境中规划和开展学习活动时，将过渡转变为与成人学习的对话可以为教育工作者提供更高的教学精度。