This paper aims to explore how men perform masculinities in their relationships with women and how their behaviour is enabled and/or maintained in modern society. An affective–discursive approach was adopted to analyse six in-depth interviews with men who identified as perpetrators of violence in intimate relationships. The analysis portrays how heteronormative discourses on masculinity frame participants’ understanding of the violence they had committed. However, the most pervasive reference point in the participants’ accounts was the construct of the monster. The participants’ understanding of their violence had an intersectional angle as the monster figured differently in their stories, depending on their social positioning. The middle-class participants believed that the monster essentialised and dehumanised them and called for new ways to talk about violence. The working-class participants experienced their violence as masculinity out of control, referring to past trauma and the intensity of their love for their partners, while dodging accountability for their actions. The findings underline the need for discourses on knowledge that encourage men to take responsibility for their actions without being dehumanised.

本文旨在探讨男性如何在与女性的关系中表现出男子气概，以及他们的行为如何在现代社会中得以实现和/或维持。采用情感话语的方法分析了六次对被认定为亲密关系中的暴力肇事者的男性的深入访谈。该分析描述了关于男性气质的异性恋规范话语如何构建参与者对他们所犯下的暴力行为的理解。然而，参与者描述中最普遍的参考点是怪物的构造。参与者对他们的暴力行为的理解有一个交叉的角度，因为怪物在他们的故事中的形象不同，这取决于他们的社会定位。中产阶级参与者认为这个怪物使他们本质化和非人性化，并呼吁以新的方式谈论暴力。工薪阶层的参与者将他们的暴力体验为失控的男子气概，指的是过去的创伤和他们对伴侣的爱的强烈程度，同时逃避对自己行为的责任。研究结果强调了关于知识的讨论的必要性，以鼓励男性为自己的行为承担责任而不是非人性化。