Previous studies provide some evidence that recalling positive autobiographical memories can foster feelings of intimacy in social relationships. The present research aimed to extend this finding by examining the effects of negative relationship memories on current feelings of intimacy. In Study 1, 71 adults recalled either two positive or two negative events experienced with their partner. Intimacy (feelings of warmth, relationship closeness) was measured before and after remembering. Relationship closeness increased after recalling positive relationship memories, whereas feelings of warmth were reduced after the recall of negative relationship memories. In Study 2, 187 adults recalled two relationship conflicts and rated intimacy toward their partner (feelings of warmth, relationship closeness) before and after remembering. Replicating the findings of Study 1, we found feelings of warmth to be reduced after the recall of relationship conflicts. Relationship closeness was likely to decrease the more conflicts were considered personally significant and the more a person had used self-distraction to regulate their emotions during the conflict. Future research may identify personal characteristics that could explain why, for some people, the recall of negative relationship memories is hurtful, whereas it brings others closer to their partner.

中文翻译：

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记住积极和消极的事件如何影响浪漫关系中的亲密程度

先前的研究提供了一些证据，表明回忆积极的自传体记忆可以培养社会关系中的亲密感。本研究旨在通过检查负面关系记忆对当前亲密感的影响来扩展这一发现。在研究 1 中，71 名成年人回忆起与伴侣经历的两件积极或两件消极事件。在记忆之前和之后测量亲密感（温暖的感觉、关系的亲密程度）。回忆起积极的关系记忆后，关系的亲密感会增加，而回忆起消极的关系记忆后，温暖的感觉会减少。在研究 2 中，187 名成年人回忆了两次关系冲突，并在回忆前后评价了与伴侣的亲密程度（温暖的感觉、关系的亲密程度）。重复研究 1 的结果，我们发现在回忆起关系冲突后，温暖的感觉会减少。冲突被认为对个人而言越重要，并且一个人在冲突期间使用自我分心来调节情绪的次数越多，关系的亲密程度可能会降低。未来的研究可能会确定个人特征，这些特征可以解释为什么对某些人来说，回忆负面关系记忆是有害的，而它却能让其他人更接近他们的伴侣。